'She needs help': Desperate plea from a dementia patient’s family

An Essex County family is hoping for help after a recent turn of events left them searching for solutions to find proper long term care for a loved one.

Shelley Garvey of Essex is currently caring for her 81-year-old former mother-in-law Denise LaFlamme after Garvey’s ex-husband died without a will and without any siblings or other family to take care of his mother who is living with suspected dementia.

"I've reached out to multiple agencies just to be told that they can't help, but here's the number for another person that can, and then I call that number and they can't help," Garvey explained.

Garvey said during a recent police wellness check officials discovered her ex-mother-in-law living in unsanitary conditions with Garvey's deceased ex-husband for several days after he passed.

"I have reached out to [Ontario Health at Home Team]," said Garvey. "I've reached out to the Adult Abuse Center because to me, this is abuse. She had absolutely no food in the house and the condition of the house was unimaginable."

Garvey said her late ex and mother-in-law didn't communicate with her much while he was alive, noting the discovery was shocking and upsetting.

"Her mattress was on the floor and it is full of human feces and bedbugs," Garvey said. "We're not going in the house anymore because we don't want to bring that home. So I brought her here with absolutely nothing. A few friends have donated some clothing for her. We're going today to take her to Value Village to get her some more.”

Garvey continued, “We have been told to drop her off at either the home or the hospital, and then we would get immediate help. But if we were to do either one of them with no one having any power of attorney or anything over her, the hospital would not release her back to us to make sure she gets to [her son’s] funeral. And she does understand that her son has passed and I think it would be so unfair if she wasn't there to say her final goodbyes to her son on Friday when we have the funeral."

Garvey said she and her ex-husband never finalized their divorce, which prompted police to contact her upon discovering her deceased ex.

Garvey said she has had to take a leave from her job without pay to take care of her ex-mother-in-law, while son Kyle LaFlamme tries to gain guardianship of his grandmother, while also planning for the funeral for his late father.

"I don't know what to do or think," Kyle LaFlamme said. "I just, I'm trying to figure it out and make sure that she gets taken care of properly. She deserves it. That's all I want."

Garvey told CTV News that her former mother-in-laws' government ID and health card had expired several years ago, making it difficult to navigate the system.

"She needs long term care immediately. She needs help and to be taken care of properly," Garvey added.

CTV News spoke with an Ontario Health at Home Team official but has not yet received an official response or statement as of news time.

"It's really hard," Garvey continued. "I work full time, but I'm off right now without pay to take care of her, which I will keep doing, but it is very, very hard and very stressful. It's sad.”