As the year end draws near, it’s often a time of reflection. The Chatham-Kent police are doing just that, with a list of the silliest calls they received in 2016.

While they say it’s important to call police when crimes or suspicious activities are observed, they often get calls that just make them shake their heads.

Here are some of the best:

  • Police officers are trained to have knowledge on a variety of subjects. One of them, however, is not who delivers the London Free Press in specific neighbourhoods.
  • A caller said his wife’s purse had been stolen. The call taker however left out the word ‘purse’ – which caused a lot of concern for those who read that the caller’s ‘wife’ had been stolen over an hour ago.
  • Some citizens now use social media to communicate with police. One caller inquired whether police could help with the temperature in his apartment and forwarded a picture of the thermostat.
  • A woman called 911 distressed that all that her cable TV was showing were French programs and she was not French.
  • Police had to be sent to a residence to settle a heated dispute between two neighbours over the ownership of a jar of peanut butter.
  • It is believed that some people confuse 911 with 411. The emergency line was used to ask the dispatcher whether they could provide the phone number to the local Kentucky Fried Chicken.
  • Police are often called just provide legal advice. One woman inquired whether it was legal for her to trap squirrels that were in her backyard and take them to a nearby farmer’s field.
  • Most good criminals have a plan. The plan usually involves making sure there is no one around to witness your crime. So when this thief broke into his neighbour’s apartment, he certainly didn’t expect to see the tenant standing there holding a baseball bat. The only thing he could do, was high-tail it out of there. Oh, and during his hurry, he lost a boot. No worries - he sent his girlfriend back to retrieve it.
  • This summer, officers pursued a man following a commercial break and enter. During the foot chase, the man was observed tossing property – which isn’t unusual. But imagine the officers’ surprise to discover that the property was pink urinal cakes. The man later advised he used the urinal cakes to play hockey. Only in Canada.
  • Friends became very concerned when a woman in Chatham posted, ‘He’s trying to kill me,’ on her Facebook page. Their concern was heightened when they were unable to reach her and called police to check on her wellbeing. The woman was located. She was fine and a bit embarrassed. She explained to the officers that her post was in reference to the toxic gas in the room after her husband passed gas.

And here are some of the excuses officers heard when stopping drivers for speeding:

  • I have something wrong with my battery and I was trying to charge it fast.
  • I just washed my truck and I was trying to dry it off.
  • I was practicing my lines for a play and must have been pushing on the gas pedal.
  • The speedometer is in mph and that’s why I was going 80 mph.
  • I am just keeping up with traffic (there was no other traffic around)
  • I had to pass the truck because it pulled out in front of me (no truck around)
  • I have a vibration in the car when driving at high speeds and I was trying to figure out what it was.
  • What 60km/h zone?
  • This is an old car, there’s no way I could have been going that fast.
  • I’m not in a hurry, just late for an appointment.